My Final Life
by EmoImmortal
Summary: Bella learns she has stage four extensive cancer, and it has spread almost everywhere in her body. it spreads to her brain and she has a seizure that rushes her to the hospital, where she meets Jasper Whitlock, who also has cancer. when they start talking they hate each other, but soon they are talking civil. maybe more? RXR BXJ Any feedback welcome that will help me. REVIEW
1. friends since pre-k

**Disclaimer;**

**I own nothing. This plot is mine, not copied from anyone. If you like this check out some of my other stories. **

**Drabble fic. **

**Review, tell me what you think. **

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**B Pov.**

That night, I laid in bed and cried...

As soon as my head hit the pillow, I rolled over, face shoved into the soft fabric, and plush feeling -the feeling meant to lull you into a peaceful sleep full of colorful dreams- and instead found no comfort. I felt nothing but the dark, solid black room around me. All alone in my apartment I just purchased, with no one to roll over to and have them comfort me. Nothing.

I was all alone. And I would die alone.

Oh god, I was going to die.. A choked sob left me, the pain in my chest was unbearable, it tore through my chest and my stomach hurt so much. I felt like someone sucked all the breath out of my body and was trying to punch more out of me.

The tears fell, staining my white pillow a washed out black color from my dripping mascara. What was I going to tell my mom, Renee? Or what about Charlie my dad, he would be devastated, and he just got out of the hospital for a heart attack. I couldn't tell him, he could end up right back in the hospital bed. Gosh, what about my friends? A slash of pain across my chest and a dry heave rip through me sounding horrible wet. How would Ali and Rose take it?

My cries stop my train of thought as I linger on their faces only slightly muffled by my pillow. But soon, I couldn't breathe with how heavily my crying was and I had to move my head to the side to breathe, releasing my sobs into the empty dark room.

How would Emmett, Edward and James take it? Angela and Ben, and their baby girl Emily...

My stomach bottomed out and I could feel the veins in my neck pop and my neck burned as I became hysterical, unable to breathe, and when I did it was painful. My arm wrapped around my midsection and the other landed on my burning chest.

I couldn't believe it, I have cancer. I have lung cancer. A fresh wave of tears assaulted me. I don't deserve this! I've never even touched a cigarette.

Two months ago I had gone to the doctors to see why I couldn't stop coughing no matter how much I rested or how much cough syrup I forced into my system. When I got their they thought it might just be a case of bronchitis due to the coughing I described and the pain in my chest, back and spine, and some wheezing in my lungs.

They took a few x- rays and told me they looked a little odd, and explained how they were seeing abnormalities in my lungs. They made another appointment and did an MRI, CT scan, and a PET scan. They also collected Sputum cytology- they made me cough really hard into a container. They did so many tests in one day it made me extremely nervous about my health, and my ability to cover the cost.

I knew my insurance would cover some if not most of this, and I had a bit of money saved from working while in college and I knew I could cover the rest, but what about bills I had to pay, and groceries, I would slide by with only a little left over with all I had to buy, just enough for next months rent groceries, and an emergency. And then their was my health, what if something was wrong, I mean I thought it was just a cold but you really never know. I didn't think it could be lung cancer, I had never touched a cig, and it could likely be pneumonia but I don't think pneumonia came with 'abnormalities in the lungs'.

When we were done, I asked the doctor who lead me out of the room what would happen when they called. He told me if nothing showed up on the screening of my "sputum" and the rest of the scans they would tell me over the phone, but if anything concerning showed up then they would call me in for another appointment to discuss it.

It wasn't easy to hide it from my friends, they knew I was keeping something from them- I am a horrid liar- but I wouldn't tell. I was hoping when they called it would show up as nothing, but you never knew so I wanted to be absolutely sure before I did anything rash like tell them and make them worry over nothing.

I think now I should have told them.. my eyes and face burned with the ferocity of my cries.

When I got the call, I knew it was something bad, the doctors words from weeks ago ringing in my ears as they made another appointment for me.

When I went, I was right. They diagnosed me with extensive lung cancer. They said it had spread to both my lungs, my spine, chest and they weren't sure yet if it was spreading to my brain. And if it was it was just starting to progress, and with how fast my cancer spread in the time provided it would be quick.

I was so shocked I wasn't sure what he said after that. I do remember asking them how long I had left. The doctor told me not long, at most depending on if it spreads to my brain three to six months. And if it does they don't think there is anything they can really do due to the extent of its spreading other than radiation. They weren't even sure if radiation would help with my case.

I did the rational thing and was silent the rest of the appointment, as they led me out with the knowledge I was going to die, and my survival rate being close to nothing. I had a headache, the cold night wasn't helping as I walked to my car, and I decided to numb it at the expense of my liver. my lungs were shot, why not polish the rest of me off.

Best drink I had had in a while.

Until it really hit me, I had cancer, I was going to die. And it could not be cured.

The life I had would be gone. And everything that came with it would be left behind. I am going to die. _I am going to die._

So I drove home, and here I am. Yes, I realize driving under the influence is illegal, do I really give a fuck, no. Not today. So here I am, thinking of my life- all the good the bad and the ugly- and crying like a baby when I should be handling this like a woman.

I think right now I deserved to have a moment of weakness.

**-0o0-**

I look at the time on my clock.

**12:43 AM**

I have been crying for two hours.

My eyes felt puffy, my face was warm and I couldn't breathe through my nose for the life of me. the blanket surrounding my immediate area was soaked and cold. my body was in pain, but numb, and tingled as I lye non-moving in my ruined bed. I went to the restroom and blew what little would come out, thinking about what to do now. I just wanted my friends, I wanted my family to surround me, and hug me as I cried and would cry with me. I wiped the remaining blotched makeup off my face leaving it red and blotchy. I walked back into my room and curl back into my white goose down blanket with satin stripes. I saved forever for this and what was it worth now? Maybe Rose would like it, she has always wanted one.

I burrowed deep into the silk and threw the blanket over my already hot face. After a while, and a few more stray tears, I look at the clock again.

**1:13 AM**

They would wake up if I sent them a text this early in the morning. I grab my phone and send them all a text telling them to get over to my place, and withing a few minutes their were calls I had to ignore from all of them- except Angela and Ben their baby girl is still sleeping at this time- because I knew my voice would break and I would start crying again, which is what I'm trying not to do.

After every person I sent a message to decided to respond with a 'why' I sent another message stating the same thing, 'get over here now please'. I know right now isn't a very understandable hour, but I needed to tell them, and I needed my friends to comfort me. And I couldn't wait till later, I needed them _now. _I knew Alice would be here first, she lives in my apartment complex. A few minutes later their was a knock on my door, Alice was here, I think she would be the hardest to tell, we went to pre-k together, her mom was best friends with my mom, and I am best friends with her.

I slowly got out of my bed, the blanket tangled into a rats nest and wet blotches everywhere, my carpet flooring was freezing, and when I walked out of my room the tile wasn't any better. In fact I was shaking I was so cold, so I went and grabbed my oversized UW college hoodie that once belonged to the monster Emmett, and padded lightly to the door. I opened it just as Alice was going to knock again, and as soon as I saw her adorable pixy like face that I had known forever the tears started again.

Her eyes were so wide, she didn't even know what was going on, she was so naïve to the whole situation.

I feel a little bad about breaking down like that. The tears didn't stop as she lead me to my 'L' shaped couch that took up half the wall and some walking room in my living room. She sat across from me on the glass coffee table in her pink silk pajamas from Victoria's Secret that I made fun of because they looked like a suite. I had gone with her when she bought it. And her fluffy pink slippers with a smiley face on them I bought her last year at Christmas as a gag gift- she loved them. She was desperately trying to calm me, but all them memories were attacking me and my chest hurt with my heaving making me cry more as I coughed the pain slashed in me like a bad cold. God, I was never going to get to see her again, I wasn't going to get to see anyone.

I couldn't breathe, my sobs were uncontrollable, and the emotions were swallowing me. I tried to breathe a little bit deeper, trying to calm myself down as Alice sat down next to me, wrapping me in a hug. My crying got louder as I felt her small but strong arms, her green eyes wide and worried. I threw my arms around her and squeezed so hard it hurt my hands. Please god, I don't want to loose her, I don't want to die.

She has always been their for me.

"Bella, what's wrong, what happened?" Alice's soprano tinkling voice asked. "Is Jacob bugging you again? Emmett will be here soon, don't worry well have him 'talk' to the bastard." she was quickly getting herself worked up and I had to stop crying for a second to let out a small 'no'.

She was puzzled, and it was understandable, she had never seen me like this other than when Jacob was around.

I met Jacob in college and we immediately hit it off, starting a relationship a week after we met, we were heads over heels. Or at least I was. Months later, he surprised me by asking me to marry him, and I of course said yes blinded by my obsession with him. After that he changed, or should I say showed his true colors. He became abusive, and me being a police chiefs daughter didn't put up with it, ending the engagement, and getting a restraining order.

Sometimes Jacob likes to pretend were still dating, or that the restraining order is void and will pop up out of nowhere and interfere with my life. Emmett usually helps me take care of him.

But Alice doesn't really know whats wrong with me, I wish I had told everyone about what was going on. I still wasn't calming down and Alice hurriedly went to my kitchen and got me a bottle of water after hearing a wet cough I let loose. She rubbed my back as I silently drank some and tried to calm down, and calm down my coughing too. Her eyebrows were scrunched as she looked at my calming form and the doorbell rung suddenly, banging followed shortly and suddenly cut off with a loud curse following. Rose and Emmett, Alice hurriedly hopped off the couch and answered the door as I curled into my large sweater closing my eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay.

A few slipped as I heard them drop everything they had on the floor like they always did, I heard a thump- Rose taking off her shoes- and I heard another larger thump- Emmett dropping his large brown construction boots. He always wore them, it was one thing that attracted Rose to him when we saw him at a waffle house where he was visiting with his 'gran-gran' for his weekly breakfast.

He was in his muscle shirt and batman pj pants, wearing his work boots and Rose and I were both in our ratty pj's from the day before. He couldn't take his eyes off her, and I had to practically threw her at him, her wearing my ratty pj's and all. He didn't even care what she looked like, he couldn't take his gaze off her face. He had been her man- and later husband- after that, and the brother I had never had.

They walked into the room cautiously, after the whispers in the hall ceased(Alice probably warning them) Rose in her pajamas and Emmett in his also his arm thrown over her shoulder. Rosie was as beautiful as ever, her golden blond hair piled in a bun on her head, not an ounce of makeup and still looking like the model she is.

I looked like the opposite, my ratty hair piled on my shoulders, make-up I tried to wipe off staining my face bright red.

Emmett is a different story his hair was tousled and he had red marks all over his face from what looked like a car door due to the grimy look and red angry blanket marks down his arms. Looks like I woke him up from some peaceful sleep. Or him and his wife trying to go at it, and I couldn't help the sad sob/laugh that left me at the look of them, knowing it was probably the latter.

"Honey, whats wrong? Are you ok? Is it Black? I swear I'll kill him"- I cut her off.

"No Rosie, its not Jacob. Ill tell you all soon, I just want everyone to be here when I tell you." I sad wiping tears off my face and taking another sip of water due to my horse voice. They were used to it, it had been horse for a long time, they thought it was just a cold I was having a hard time shaking.

"Bella. You ok? Our looking a little paler, and well sicker than usual.. have you lost weight?" Emmett asked.

I just smiled through the tears at my brother. My nose burned with the tears needing to drop from my eyes and my cheeks were burning. A small huff left me before tears were running down my face as I saw my friends looking at me concerned and confused from the doorway. I calmed myself down enough for me to talk.

"Come and sit by me, I wont bite." I said patting the spots next to me. They walked in slowly sitting next to me Emmett on one side of me, Rosie to his left. Alice stood and slowly came to sit next to me, wrapping me delicately in her arms again.

I laid their, taking in the feeling of her small arms around me. I was going to miss them, because apparently stage four lung cancer was going to take it all away from me. Water leaked onto her silk shirt putting big splotches on it. We sat silently on the couch, waiting for everyone else to arrive – except Angie Ben and Emily.

We only had to wait about twenty to thirty minutes because Edward and James lived all the way across Seattle. When they knocked I got off the couch and out of Alice's sleepy embrace and answered the door.

Edward walked through the door taking off his cream cashmere scarf his dad got him as a Christmas present and in a dramatic fashion also took off his his black coat. Christmas was about two months ago – still extremely cold in Washington.

" You would not believe the amount of traffic their would be in Seattle at almost two in the morning!" Edward started his soft voice like silk filling the silent apartment, James chuckling behind him as he entered the space with a "Stop being such a drama queen Edward." and he had one arm out of his jacket before he realized Edward didn't respond. He took it the rest of the way off, hung it on the rack and walked to stand next to him.

And he was staring at my face in horror.

"Oh my god baby, what happened, who did this to you? You look like you have been beaten by the depression monster! Do you need a hug or something?" I smiled at him and his flamboyance.

I gave them both a hug and made sure to inhale both of their scents deeply James- Edwards partner- smelling like warmth and sunshine, and Edward smelling oddly of lavender and wheat. It made my vision blur with tears at the thought of possibly not making it to their wedding, since gay marriage is now legal. They wanted a spring wedding.

I walked with them into the living room and they took the love seat Edward like always being the proper 'woman' he is crossing his legs, and James resting the side of his foot on the top of his knee and throwing his arm over Edwards shoulders, Edward responding by instinctively leaning into him. I wiped the tears from my cheeks, my face so warm I didn't even realize they had fallen. I went and sat on across from everyone so I could see them all on the side of the couch not being used.

I cleared my throat of its grogginess and took another sip of water.

"So what happened belly-boo?" Emmett asked using my nick name I usually hit him for, but it just made me sob a bit as I looked at everyone wearing concerned faces for me.

" I'm sorry I woke you all up this early in the morning, but as you all know I am a horrible secret keeper." their was a chorus of laughter and 'yeses' I chuckled a little bit but looking at them I ended in a sniffle.

"I just found out today. And I needed to have some time to myself before I could talk to you all, and I am so sorry or not telling you all about this sooner. Lately I have been going to the hospital and constant doctors appointments for the cough and pain in my chest I have been having for a while now as you know." they nodded, but Alice looked confused.

"Why would you need multiple appointments? Usually they can diagnose in one day." she spoke, it perked everyone's interest, and you could see a horrified look cross Roses face- she is a doctor. I think she has a vague idea.

"Well, when they did the x- rays to see if it was anything like fluid in the lungs and stuff, they saw some abnormalities. And they made me another appointment to see what they could find out what it was. When I went back they did a lot of scans"- Roses eyes filled with tears. " and made me cough into a container to take samples of my mucus, and they told me they would call me when they got the results."

I took a shaky breath as I looked at all the worried faces of my friends I have had forever.

"They got the results today. And they weren't good guys. um.." I took a moment to control myself, my voice shaking and blinking away tears as I looked at all of them, in their pajamas and in their designer clothes all wearing vaguely the same emotion, Rose horror, Emmett confusion, Alice worry and confusion, James horror and worry, Edward worry and confusion.

"I have extensive stage four lung cancer. It has spread to my chest, spine, both lungs and their trying to figure out right now before my next appointment if it is spreading to my brain. So far it looks like it is. And if it does, there is nothing that can be done to take away the cancer. I will die, I can only prolong it." I wiped the tears quickly from my face, and everything was silent, everyone now looking in horror at me.

Rose was the first to let out sobbs.


	2. Shopping for answers

**Disclaimer**:

**ok, so I didn't get any reviews which made me really sad. I appreciate the follows and favorites but I really want feedback. So please be nice and review.**

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** -o0o-**

She put her head in her hands and sobbed. Her chest heaving and Emmett rubbing her back while his eyes slowly became rimmed with red. He followed slowly after, silent tears flowing down his cheeks to his lips and he took his hand to rub it away but left his hand there. Sitting there on his face covering his mouth, not even bothering to wipe the tears falling over his fingers. He pulled Rosalie to his chest while Edward slowly started mumbling to himself.

"No. No, theirs been a mistake. You don't have cancer, and not stage four. You just have a bad cold. You have had it for a while. But you'll get better. You have to. Right?" he looked at me, tears shining in his eyes as he gripped James hand in a vice. James was rubbing his shoulder lightly, Edward looked at me pleading leaving James's embrace and standing.

"Right?" he asked again.

I shook my head slowly, no. I wasn't going to get better. He let out a wail as he fell to his knees and enveloped me in a hug burrowing his head into my stomach. All evidence of the happy man from earlier gone. I wrapped my arms around him in an awkward hug and leaned over burrowing my head into the crook of his neck. My sobs were soft as I faced the reality of the situation with my friends around me. I lifted my head and kissed the back of his head leaving myself their as I slowly ran my fingers through it trying to calm his hysterical crying. And partially mine. James slowly left the loveseat and sat back against the couch and rubbed Edwards back as he sobbed.

Rose slowly disentangled herself from Emmett and walked over to me wrapping her arms around my shoulders sitting next to me.

Emmett didn't follow, he just buried his face in his hands and rested his elbows on his knees. His shoulders lightly shook as he sat there. I looked to Alice, and right when my eyes hit her, I wish they hadn't. Her mouth was open in horror, and her eyes were blinking rapidly as she jerked her head back, suddenly shaking it 'no'. She closed her mouth her gaze settling on me.

"Your lying!" she screamed. "Your LYING! You _fucking_ _liar_! Why would you say something like that!?" She was shaking. Her breaths coming in huffs as she started crying as she stood and faced me. I untangled myself from everyone and walked the short distance to her tightening my arms around her shoulders and cradling the back of her head. She broke down in my arms crying harder than anyone else here.

We have been best friends since pre-k.

"Your fucking lying." she sobbed hard and inhaled almost painfully in three short bursts. "Please tell me your lying, you have to be." she couldn't continue talking. She was crying too hard. Her legs gave way and I followed her to the ground where we sat for a while. Me hugging her, releasing tears with my best friend. Her having a painful grip around my torso as she sobbed into my bosom me weeping into her neck.

Since we were just children, babies, that was how long we had been friends, and now, I was ripping that away from her.

I couldn't live without them, and now I had to. At least if I was gone, I could wait for them. Hopefully. Maybe. And they would have to live remembering me, until they died.

I wonder if there is a heaven. Would Grandma Swan be there? What about Pappy Swan? Would they be together? Would they be waiting for me, do they know? Do they know right now I am months from death?

I know they are in heaven if there is one. They were the best people in the world, even if I only knew them while I was a child I knew how amazing they were. They went to church every Sunday. They did volunteer work, sometimes they would bring me with if they could. I loved it. They always had my favorite Apple pie- home made- waiting for me once and a while when I would come for visits. They never said anything but nice things about people. Unless someone cut them off on the road, they had major road rage, or unless it was Mr. Roberts from next door.

Their dog didn't like me. It always tried attacking me, and all Mr. Roberts did was tell it to shut up. It was a well trained dog. It just didn't like anyone on its territory, at least that's what Grams told me.

And Pappy was just your every day grandpa wanting to show you how to fix stuff and making sure you are always having fun. As a kid, I would always tell him, next to grams, he was my favorite. It made him laugh.

He started chewing tobacco after Grams died, and whenever I came over we had fun but it wasn't the same. Whenever I walked through that door I always looked to the kitchen bar and looked for the Apple pie I wished I could smell. We talked about her often, but not for long.

Pappy Swan died of a broken heart later that year, or that's what my mom told me.

Alice was me. And I was Gram. But she knew I was going to die, and that made it worse.

I hushed her, and she slowly calmed down, right when I thought she was going to stop she slowly started again, like I had earlier that night. Or should I say morning?

Rose and Edward came and held onto me also, James following, and slowly stopping their crying and just sitting their, holding onto me. I looked at them all. Their all my friends, some more than others, but their all I've got and all I need. Five people in a ball on the floor just hugging each other, because they ran out of tears. That is what was happening in my freshly bought apartment at around three in the morning.

Where is the sixth one? I lift my head off of the clean carpet and see Emmett looking at us with the saddest red eyes that made his blue ones look like crystal. His cheeks and nose were stained pink and he had dry water tracks down his cheeks, except the occasional one that would slip. He would sniff silently, and I felt like getting him a tissue. His hair looked like he had been gripping it for a long time and his arms were still resting on his knees with balled hands at the ends of them.

He was sad. Like me. Like all of us.

If everyone wasn't asleep, they were half asleep or just staring at the ceiling. With blank faces. I got out of the ball and they looked at me but I just walked to Emmett and moved his arms, sitting side ways on his lap and wrapped my arms around his wide torso. He smelt like the Arizona heat, and like dirt and Old Spice. But not the gross dirt, the red hot sand that smells rich and thick.

The pretty dirt that even smelled good when it rained. And right now, Emmett was going through a storm.

I was his sister and him my brother. And I was ripping that from him.

He wrapped his arms around me too. And buried his face in my hair, and a few minutes later my neck was wet with his tears. And while I was the only one who could hear his shaky tears, his reaction made me the saddest. I held him while he held me and listened to him silently cry, and I would have too if I wasn't so tired. I fell asleep in my brothers arms, and my lullaby was his tears and sobs.

**-o0o-**

I slowly woke up on a soft fabric. And pillows, I moved over and found myself stuck. I tried the other way and had less room than the way before. I lift myself up and look around me, I was in my room, and everyone was piled on my bed squished because Emmett and Alice were taking up all the room on either side of me. Today was Saturday, I didn't have work. I needed to go grocery shopping, and I needed new underwear because of a comical mishap with my washer and bleach.

I also needed to pee.

_Think of anything but the cancer, keep your mind busy._

I wiggled out of everyone's way only to have the small but fucking strong Alice grab me right at my bladder and hold me down in a vice. I had to calm my breathing to make sure I didn't wet the bed before I slowly removed her hands from my waist and tiptoed to the bathroom closing the door as quietly as I could. I hope no one woke up and heard me peeing, just because I was sick doesn't make me any less self-conscious than before.

When I was finished and washed my hands with my hand soap I left, closing the door quietly and went to the kitchen and started on the monstrous breakfast I knew we would all need.

I had cooked eighteen eggs, twelve pancakes, twenty four strips of bacon – most for me, I love bacon- a bag of hash browns from Walmart and a small bag of sausage-depleting the last of my grocery supply, all but a few slices of left over bacon and some sausage – before everyone was finally waking up. All but Alice. Everyone had their plates loaded and were digging in with a quarter of the food already gone and two syrups on the table but Alice and I. I walked around the bend in my little place and went to my room to wake the snuggled Alice.

"Rise and shine." I said pulling open my curtains. She moaned and burrowed further into the duvet.

" Alice I made bacon." she ran out of the room quicker than a cartoon character. Doesn't matter how old you are, bacon always works.

When I walked out there her plate was already half full and I knew I would have to make more bacon. Good thing I had this breakfast stuff because this would keep me full while I got groceries. But with these guys as my friends I had to have breakfast on hand at all times. I slowly got to work on my plate after making the last strips of bacon for myself. I had two pancakes smothered in syrup, the last of the bacon, and a small pile of hash browns and eggs.

We all ate in silence, and when I was finished I got to work on the messy ass kitchen.

"you guys are savages." I chuckled. They all let out a laugh at the syrup splattered table with eggs and hash browns, butter, and sprinkles in the mix.

"Alice! Edward! The sprinkles are for the cupcakes I have to make for the faculty not for your pancake designs." we all laughed despite the sad situation I knew we all couldn't get off our minds. " I got my check this week and have to go shopping, who wants to go with me?"

Rose and Alice of course, but Emmett raised his had too. "Ok Em, you can come too but will you be able to fit into my car?" I laughed. I don't know why I was acting like everything form last night didn't happen. I guess I was hoping it hadn't. Everyone was looking at me like they were expecting me to break down.

I felt like I wanted to.

I look at the time a thing I had kept from my childhood.

**11:11am** time to make a wish.

_I wish I didn't have cancer. _

I finished the kitchen with the help of Rosalie.

I went and got everyone that was coming some clothes to put on since were all at each others houses so much we all just leave some clothes their just in case. We all got changed and I put on light makeup as did Rose and Alice.

I grabbed my keys off the hook and left with a good bye to Edward and James them looking at me concerned as they waved turning on the TV and sitting together on the couch, and them all walking behind me down a flight of metal railed stairs painted green. It was cold, but this is Washington when isn't it cold? But damn I was freezing, and I am normally one all up for cold weather. It looked like it was going to rain again soon anyways the clouds were a heavy black at the bottom and a Grey at the top and looked like it was being weighed down to the world.

Like it was going to cry for me.

"Emmett can you run up and get us all our jackets from the rack? I think were going to need them." he nodded and ran up the steps disappearing when he hit the top. We walked the rest of the way to the black Dodge Neon I owned.

We were already in the car with the heat blaring to try and get the frost off the windows when Emmett returned taking the front seat since he was bigger than everyone else. He passed all the jackets back and we put them on. It hurt to move my back as I moved the jacket over my head. It was a sharp pain that lingered in my tissue. I breathed through it.

I took the stick shift and pulled out of the lot turning on the radio, Radioactive by Imagine Dragons was on.

We arrived at the store not long after. I grabbed a cart and immediately started surfing the isles with them occasionally throwing stuff in.

"Can you grab me that?" I said pointing to the Hamburger Helper on the top shelf. Me being 5'5 I'm not able to reach that, the isles are really tall. Emmett laughed as he easily picked it up and gave it to me.

" So Bells, now that you know you have cancer what will happen with work?" I flinched when he said the word 'cancer'.

"To be honest, I have no idea. I just found out yesterday, it depends on the cost of everything. I have enough to cover what my insurance wont for my most recent hospital expenses, but after I spend that their will only be a certain amount left, and I don't know if it'll be enough to cover the bills and chemo or radiation. even with the money I leave aside for emergencies, my sock money, or my "secret account". But if I can cover it than I might have to continue working to pay for it, but being an English teacher doesn't pay much so I might have to even take up another job. But I need to notify my work place about my situation so they can understand why I might have subs a lot throughout the remainder of the year."

I sighed.

" There are so many possibilities and I need to think over the ones given."

"You aren't getting another job Bella. You know if you are having any trouble us and our families will be one hundred percent willing to help you. And I know you and your family aren't on the best of speaking terms but that doesn't mean they, and we wont help." I nodded and everyone else with me agreed. its no secret that my growing up in an unstable childhood with a serious lack in money has made me sort of hoard money over the years. Now I'm thankful I have I just might be able to cover what will save my life.

"But you all know I don't like asking for money. I feel like I owe them and in the end I wont be able to pay them back. I don't want to go like that." you could see Em's eyes close like he is in pain and Rose and Alice stopped looking at the meat for a second and stared at me.

"What?" I asked when they didn't stop looking at me.

I don't like being stared at.

" Don't say that." Rose said. they stopped staring, seeing my discomfort.

"What? That when I die I cant pay you back? I know you all come from middle class to wealthy families but I wouldn't feel comfortable not paying you back." I put a pot roast into my cart and went onto the seafood.

"No, don't talk about you dying. I don't like it and I don't want to hear it." she snapped.

I raised my eyebrows in shock. "Its going to happen, so why pretend like it isn't? We might as well all get it through our heads."

"What if you do chemo or radiation, what if it works and you lose the cancer and you live"- I stopped her there.

"No. I don't want to do this to you Rose, but you must realize it has spread too much, to fast, and too far. There is no reversing it or slowing it. I will die and I wont be here anymore in a while. I would rather not go through anymore pain than I will already be going through so I need to see what doing either of those will do. And whether or not I plan on doing them or not is up to me. And right now I don't know what I want to do." I went into a new isle while Rose stayed behind looking at me in shock.

Sure she is a doctor, but she doesn't specialize in cancer treatment. Rose isn't able to have children, she found out at a young age when she got her first period and it went on for months. That helped her pick her line of work. She does surgery for premature children, she wants to make sure they live as normal a life as possible- her being a pre-mi herself. She thought if she did surgery for them herself, it would give them a better chance since she holds the desperate passion. And she is truly a brilliant doctor.

She followed quickly after walking behind me swiftly "You just found out yesterday and just told us yesterday and you are questioning whether or not you are going to try the very medicine that will help you live longer? Have more life, experience more? Don't you want to stay with us longer?" she finished in a hushed whisper. We were starting to attract attention with the topic of our conversation I'm guessing because we weren't talking loud. Ali and Em let us talk with no interruption, only breaking the conversation to ask if I needed anything.

"Rosalie Lillian McCarthy! You know I would give anything, _anything _to stay here and live with all of you until we all die together. You should know when I found out I cried more about losing you all than anything, including my own god given parents. If that doesn't mean anything than I don't know what to say. But I know there are many health risks with doing chemo and or radiation and I want to think over my options."

she was silent and solemn, staring at me with a blank but sad expression. She reminded me of a porcelain doll. Beautiful but almost sad looking. "I'm sorry Bella, I-i just don't want you to go. And I know you would give anything to stay here with us, I just don't know what to do." she said helplessly her voice broke on the last word. I patted her shoulder and spoke slowly clearing my voice before I started.

It hurt, my chest, when I did that. I hoped I hid the pain well, I don't want to make her even more worried. "Neither do I Ro, but we'll figure it out. For now, why don't we start in the bread section and take it from there?"

**hey please be nice and review, it lets me know you like the story:3**


	3. Pols

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**-o0o-**

we got done shopping relatively quickly, and with Emmett with us we spent a good portion of my money off of my debit card. I shook my head when I saw the bill, making Emmett pay a little, he was in his fathers construction business, he could handle losing a bit of money.

And I got some cute lacy boyshort underwear, making a quick dash to the clothes isle while they were surfing the other isles. They were all either green, black, or green and black. Cant help it their my favorite colors, and I got a few cute bras to match.

If Emmett ever saw them he would blush about fifty shades of red and never let me live it down.

I walk out of the store, and despite the cart only being a little bit full I had to push harder than normal to steer it. Emmett, seeing my struggle comes to my rescue and starts pushing it for me. I bow my head as shame fills me, I could hardly push a cart. Self loathing slowly started creeping in.

I felt worthless.

How would I be able to take care of myself later down the road, I don't want to have to subject my friends to that. To taking care of me like I am an old woman. We reach my car, pop the trunk and load everything in there and head back home, me silent the whole way as they chatted quietly amongst themselves.

**-o0o-**

Today was Sunday, group church day. I put my blue formal dress on and went to my car at the ripe time of nine thirty in the morning. When gran died, we stopped going to church for a while, and I got sick of it. So I started walking the one hour trek- high or hell weather just to go to church. My gran was a large part of my life, and I hope- hoped, when I grew old I would be just like her. And I will continue trying to be the best person I can until I die, to make my Gran happy.

I pulled into the lot, Alice, her boyfriend Alec, Emmett and rose, and Edward and James were all waiting their in the rain. Angela and Ben cant make it to the early service, they go to the nightly ones because of their work. Baby Emily usually has a babysitter that watches her, I will too when I don't have work and they want me to watch her. I step outside and jump back in -shit! I forgot my umbrella, again, it seems I always do when I go to church. I search for a little bit, seeing if maybe- hopefully- I had one, no such luck. I got out of the car, locking it and ran to Edward who was already grabbing his spare umbrella from his car. I waited in the freezing rain as he opened it for me, fuck it was cold.

"Jesus Christ Bella, why do you never remember an umbrella? You live in Washington state for god sake! You look blue!"

"Edward! Watch your mouth! We are going into the house of the lord, be respectful. And I just seem to forget it, it is a habit I cant get out of." he nodded his head, looking down in shame.

I'm not always a bible freak, only when I go to church. At home it is different, but in a church I feel like I have to be respectful. We walked to the door, me freezing my non realistic balls off, my lips felt like ice and I could hardly feel my fingers gripping my umbrella tightly. Rose quickly wrapped her arm around me and we walked into the large toasty building that was filled with the warm sound of people and faint angelic singing.

We walked all the way to the third floor, the top balcony and looked down to the singers and the beautiful engraved angels on the roof. That's why we always went to the top here, the sculptures of baby angels painted gold were the most beautiful thing, it was almost like the ceiling in the movie "Last Holiday", but in my opinion better. We grabbed our paper that has the listings of the songs sang today after taking the blessed water and crossing ourselves. We sat and started singing with the choir as most people were starting to do.

Once it hit ten we stopped and waited patiently for church to start. The whole time, I wasn't listening, I was praying, and thinking. Asking questions, hoping for a reply I knew I wouldn't get. Why would I, I'm sure god is a busy man, and I know he is supposed to hear all prayers, but it says nothing about answering them.

The ministers echoing words caught my attention, "The lord, never does things selfishly. You all know the saying, the lord works in mysterious ways, well never forget it! Because he always has a plan, it may not seem like a good one a the time, but everything happens, for a reason. The lord has plans for you all. Its just up to you to follow his path, and trust fully in him to protect you as you do so. In those final words, let us end today in prayer."

I couldn't help but mentally scoff what plan could he have that needed me to die, what could have been so important I didn't need to exist just when I was starting life?I don't even know if he is listening right now. But if he was, god, if you _are _can you please just tell me why, why you decided to take my life instead of someone else's? I would never wish this on someone, but how can my time come so soon?

The sound of a bunch of Amen's, and silence followed his words I clasped my hands together, wrapping my fingers around each other and silently asked for a miracle, and hoping it would come true. As we all shuffle outside Rose goes to tell us all that later this week we needed to meet for lunch so we can all go shopping for Edwards dad's birthday party coming up. I already had a present for him, but they didn't need to know that, and I knew he would love it. Carlisle is a very simple man, and it doesn't take a lot to make him happy, but I always try my best to treat him like my own, and he treats me like his own too.

Right now I don't have the best relationship with my father and mother, and well, for me to tell Carlisle and Esme, I think it might be harder than telling my actual parents. That saddens me.

I've never had the best relationship with my parents, I try my best, but they become too much a lot of the time. Charlie and Renee always mean good, but they display it wrong, they are relatively silent people so when they do talk they don't know how to express themselves so a lot of the time it comes off as rude. Even to their own daughter, I know they love me, but they don't really ever say it. And I know when I was a kid they were busy with work a lot so they could put food on the table and such, but we never really got time together and when I was explained why it was always like I was supposed to understand this already.

We just have a strained and difficult relationship.

Carlisle and Esme are everything they aren't as bad as that sounds. They are kind and understanding, Esme is a stay at home mom who is fun and does multiple charity events, and Carlisle will make time for his kids despite his busy schedule as the top surgeon in Washington. They are compassionate, and know how to answer every question, and they make things fun. They accept me for who I am- me and all my quirks, like clumsiness and slowish mind- without judging. They make me feel welcome, and understood and I know telling them this will break their heart.

Were still in the parking lot when I ask Edward when the next time is he is going to see his dad.

"Actually, I'm going their on Thursday, why?" realization dawns on him and he reaches for a hug and just hugs me as I fight back the burning feeling in my eyes.

"Its ok honey, they will be with you- as will we- every step of they way. I wish I could stay with you tonight but I have a big board meeting tomorrow at six. Ill be sure to stop by later though, are you going to work tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I need to talk to Mr. Devin and see what is going to happen because of my predicament."

"Ok babe well sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite, I think I might call you later so have your phone near, and please, please, don't watch those awful shows about red necks and such. You're going to fry your brain."

"Stop judging my shows, their entertaining, and what if I like re- runs of Jerry Springer and Maury?"

"Never, and I don't understand why you do, one solicits violence and another is a guy who is paid to tell women their whores. Not really that entertaining."

"You wont understand till your poor and don't have every channel in the world Edward." I laughed a small not that real laugh.

He shook his head kissed me on the cheek, I gave him the umbrella, and he ran hand in hand to the car with his silent as always fiance James.

Rose and Em left with lingering tight hugs and promises to call later, and same with Alice and Alec. My friends love me. And I love my friends, I just wish I didn't have a limited time left with them. With a heavy sigh I turned to look at the large building with the metal cross on it and spun quickly, my eyes downcast looking at the rain hitting the floor, running to my car and waved by to people in my church as I pulled out and went home.

**-o0o-**

**1 week later.**

Their was going to be a terrible storm tonight. And I couldn't wait, I didn't have the best day and I needed something to cover the sound of my tears.

I guess I need to fill in what has happened over the last week, so sit tight. I'm in the process of writing my will, and I don't know when ill be done since I'm writing my own to avoid attorney fees.

I very recently learned that Emmett and Rose- after six years of marriage- are taking their relationship to the next level and are going to adopt a child. It usually takes up to a year to get a kid and they still need to have a home study to see if their living environment is suitable for a child. The woman will be their some time this week.

Edward and James have moved their wedding up by months, and it will happen within the next two. An effort to make sure I will be able to be there, I hope I will be. It would mean the world for me to be there, to see the one thing that they have been waiting for forever.

I have my appointment soon, just an update to see if its spread any further, I have already had the appointment and went over the cost of chemo and or radiation. I can tell you I am not spending one hundred to thirty thousand dollars for one month of chemo, and the health risks involved would not make me die any slower, so I am just going to- basically- die out.

Not to sound melodramatic.

I talked to the school, they said if I was up to it I could work for a few more weeks, if I was up to it, and when I left, it would be a paid leave so I didn't have to worry about relying on anyone else for the bills. I am so thankful to them, I have been working, but within the last few days I have been getting really bad migraines and I have hardly been able to stand because of them, let alone teach the lessons.

They have been leaving me wanting to curl in a ball and just lay in the dark. And my pain in my chest is now constant and unwavering. Always dull and there, never vanishing. I have been getting coughing fits, but when I went online and looked, I was thankful for one thing. When your cancer gets really bad- another symptom is coughing up blood.

I haven't had that yet, but I'm scared it might be happening soon, especially with the amount of coughing I have been doing as of late. The worst thing is my kids are starting to notice, notice my lack of energy I usually have, my need to sit a lot- due to my headaches- and my constant coughing. I'm hoping I wont need to leave this soon, I would hate to have this happen. I worked so hard for my degree, and I just wish I didn't have to throw it away.

I made a left on Auburn and decided to take the back roads to my complex instead of the main roads, it would be quicker for me just to pick up Emily than to have Angie and Ben drop her off. I'll only be watching her for a few hours so they can have their anniversary dinner, than they will pick her up and tomorrow they are bringing her to her grandmas so they can go on a small vacation for a few days to a "surprise location". Ben wont tell her where but I told Ang to give me every detail when she got back.

They know about my cancer. I brought them over to my house and sat down with them while Em was at daycare. They didn't take it well- but what is to be expected?

I turned down the familiar road and stopped at the little white house with ivy crawling up the side of it and beautiful -obviously tended to- rose bushes in the front. Ben was born into a rich family and with his parents dying at a very young age and him having to be raised by his grandparents he inherited all their money when she died. Along with Angela's nicely paying job as a nurse they have an extraordinarily well life style. I admit to a little jealousy, their house is absolutely stunning- I'm just happy they don't flaunt their money like some would.

I park on the curb and pull my keys out of the ignition, lightly trot to the door but stop as I easily get winded. I take a deep breath hoping to calm myself and trying to prevent a cough attack but it happened anyway. I rang the doorbell as I coughed so hard it brought tears to my eyes. Ben opened the door holding a crying Emily and I signaled for him to give me a second. I cleared my throat and smiled apologetically.

"Hey Hun, sorry, got something stuck in my throat, I decided to give you and Ang some alone time before you get ready and pick Em up if that's ok?" he smiled gratefully and I laughed as I took the fussing toddler.

"If you can just get her bag ill be out of your hair, where is Angela?" I questioned.

"She's in the bathroom, I'll make sure to tell her you stopped by and that you kidnapped my daughter." he chuckled.

He combed his hand through his hair, his obvious sign of stress he shares with Edward.

"what's wrong Ben?" I asked settling Emily on my hip, she is in her terrible six's and is deciding to make life a little hard on the couple.

He looked at me a little stressed as I stood in the doorway. "Angela is upstairs right now taking a pregnancy test, we think we may be having a pregnancy scare because we have been safe but you never know."

I nodded in understanding, "Either way you both will be fine, you have the money to care for another child, you just would have to share Em's room with the baby if you are. You both will be fine, and if it isn't it'll just start the conversation for what would happen if she was pregnant, and with Ang it'll lead her to talk about the future. And then it will turn romantic and mushy and I don't want to hear about that." I laughed a bit at his reddening face. I got Em in a better position on my hip, her squirming was making her slip a little.

"You're right Bell's thanks, have fun with the little brat and if she gets to moody you know to call and we'll come back and take her off your hands. We appreciate this, I will have Angela call you so you ladies can gossip and what not. Bye." he waved.

"Bye." I had Em wave with me as we left.

"hey honey! What do you want to do today? Maybe get some... ice cream? And maybe... some _movies!"_ Emily laughed as I wiggled her around I opened the backseat and set her bag in the back and her in the small middle seat. Once she was buckled in I got in the car and we left on the back roads to my complex.

"so how you been bumble bee?" I smiled at the child in the rear view mirror, then flicked my eyes back to the road.

"I've been okay, but Mommy and Daddy were sad with you. They told me in a while you would go away and not come back when I asked. Why are you leaving Aunty Bella?" she said, I looked at her, she was playing with her dolls hair but when she asked she met my eyes.

I stared at the road occasionally looking at the little girl. "Because baby, I need to, someone needs me a lot and I cant just leave them alone when they need me can I?"

"No. Mommy says if someone needs help, we should try to see what they need and if we can help. But she also says if we try to help someone and they try to hurt me or anyone else I need to call the pols."

I grinned, "Police baby girl."

"And whats he number for nine one one?"

"Nine one one!" she squealed.

I laughed along with the child and turned on the radio the rest of the way there- making a small thirty minute stop for ice cream and a few Red Box movies- while Emily tried to sing along to a few songs.

**-o0o-**

I walked up the stairs with Emily holding her hand and we quietly entered my small abode.

Emily immediately jumped on the couch grabbing the remote and turning on the T.V. Leaving it on something called The Backyard Again? She sat right on her but and watched with vigor- like her life depended on it. I shook my head but started setting her stuff out, Emily has a lot of allergies so I had to keep an epee- pen and a few other things, along with one spare clothing change just in case. When I was done I sat with her, her immediately sitting on my lap and snuggling up to me, and we watched a weird show with a pink hippo, a blue penguin and my bored mind sitting their for the sake of the kid.

We eventually started the movies when the show was over, and those were a little better to pay attention to.

**-o0o-**

I picked up a sleeping little girl and laid her gently on the couch as I went to get my phone. The storm was just starting and the clock only read five o'clock so they should be coming here within the next two hours, I picked it up cutting it off in the middle of a ring.

"Hey."

" Hey girl, do you think maybe we could come at around eight or nine, instead of seven? Someone had taken our reservation and we had to wait a half hour before another table opened. And Ben still wants to take me somewhere before we leave and it'll apparently last a while."

"Yeah it's fine, she is asleep right now anyway, I'll just have to wake her up for dinner then let her sleep again until you get here." I stopped for a second, covering my mouth with the cook of my elbow as I coughed a lung out.

"You ok Bells?" she asked concerned.

I coughed a bit more before I could answer. "yeah I'm ok"- I cut off with another cough. Shit I'm getting dizzy.

"Bella?" she said.

"Sorry, just inhaled wrong." I said blinking the tears from my eyes and trying to calm my spinning mind.

"You sure your ok, we can come over if your not feeling well."

"No, I'm fine, just a bit frazzled. I'm good though, have fun with you hubby and don't do anything I wouldn't do." she laughed with me, and I blinked repeatedly, my mind still reeling.

"Ok, I wont, we appreciate this and love ya girlie, bye."

"Love you too, bye."

my mind was ringing as I started coughing again as I set the phone down in the counter. I could hear Em rousing so I went into the living room and tried to stop- only making it more ferocious. She rubber her eyes as she woke up but when I turned my head to my other elbow, the world flashed around me. Emily's eyes got wide as she looked at my arm, and I stopped for a second to look at it too, and in the crook of my elbow was a humongous amount of blood, I wiped the corner of my mouth as an itching sensation started and my vision started to double – blood was now on my hand.

"Emily, call nine one one." I said just before I collapsed and everything went dark, except for the sound of her screaming.

**REVIEW.**


	4. A god and messed up family

**Disclaimer:**

**who else is ready for little ms. Bella to meet Jasper fucking Whitlock?! I am I can tell you that. Oh and please don't be to fucking angry with me, I've been busy lately and a little under the mental weather.**

**But here is the next chapter and please review, I would greatly appreciate it. **

**-o0o-**

**Jpov**

Nothing better than finding out your dying right? I sighed at the doctor. He looked at me sadly and spoke the words I had been hoping he wouldn't say.

" You can always do chemo or radiation. We can check you into a clinic, they have a great one here in Washington that can help you with all of your needs as you go through the medical treatments, that is if you want them. There is a good chance you can survive if we stop it now, if we do a few more scans and tests we can see how far along the cancer is, how long you have. It'll give us a better chance of understanding the treatment you will nee-"

"Nope." I drawled I shook my head slowly. I blinked for a bit before I looked at him "Thanks for the evaluation, I'll just be leavin'." I walked out of the room, signed the papers making sure I payed for all the hospital did and left.

Nothing better then finding out your dying right?

God damn why is it so fucking cold. I turned the heater on in the parking lot of the hospital and waited for the fog to disappear from my windshield. Breathing warm all over my hands helped a bit but I could still hardly feel my fingers. I shook my hands seeing the fog disappear, and slowly left the parking lot.

I went home that night, and I fell into bed. Staring at the ceiling. The biting cold after a while made me cover up. I could hear barking outside as a storm rolled in, I don't even know how I could call this place home. My friend was out of town so I was staying in his place for a while, while I tried to find an apartment. I closed my eyes for a second, and opened them when I heard keys jingling.

"Jasper?" someone yelled.

"In here." I yelled. Peters home early.

"Get out of my bed you dumb ass and lets eat, I got some take out from down the road." he shouted down the hall.

I got out of his bed and walked down the hall and into the kitchen, grabbing some of the take out and sitting on his sofa across from him. We ate quietly, talking form time to time about stupid shit that had happened lately with work, and sports as he turned the T.V. on. Apparently he came back early because as soon as he got to the business, they immediately agreed to all terms he and his business proposed.

My vision started to go a bit fuzzy, and I blinked hard, but it only got worse. A ringing started in my ears, and I couldn't feel my body anymore. I watched as my food dropped from my hands and onto the floor of Peters living room and I slowly swayed. I could see Peter shouting before he ran out of the room and everything went dark.

**-o0o-**

**BPOV**

I groaned, my head pounded.

"owwunnghhh."

I rolled to my side only to be stopped by a sharp pain and a tugging feeling around my body and arms. What happened?

I heard snoring beside me and opened my eyes slowly, shutting them quickly as the artificial light struck my corneas. Oww.

I tried again, opening my eyes slower to make sure I didn't get shocked again. My eyes met a sleeping Emmett. I smiled, he has the snore of a fucking chainsaw. But hes my chainsaw. I don't know how Rose gets any sleep at night, but I guess when you love someone its almost bearable. I looked around me slowly, seeing all of the wires connected to my arms hanging off of the bed and twisted around my arms a bit.

I quietly started untangling them, and gave up after a while with a quiet huff. I raised my hand to my head and sighed as I felt a small twinge behind my lids. I opened my eyes again and looked around the room when I noticed another heart monitor making small noises every once and a while other than mine.

The stale smell of plastic and sterile everything assaulted my senses as my eyes met a blue so deep it felt like I was staring into an aquamarine diamond. My breath left my body and my heart monitor let out a little noise alerting my heart rate rising before it settled again. I don't know who he was but he was a god.

He had a strong jaw, but curved at the edges, not quite oval not quite square. He had full lips set in almost a permanent smirk. The planes of his face were like finely chiseled marble, smooth and white with just a hint of stubble starting around his chin and under his angular cheekbones. His eyes were squinted like they too hurt from the light, his eyebrows scrunched a bit as he looked at me. Evaluating me as I was him. He had light eyelashes but they were a brown that made his eyes more prominent. His eyebrows were slightly darker than his blond hair, but not by much. And even though he was covered in thick blankets as I was, you could tell he had a tall lean, and taught body. His wheat colored hair rested a few inches under his jaw, crumpled by the large hospital pillow he was laying on.

His right cheek was streaked with red like he had just woken up, but as I stared at this man I noticed something. He may be beautiful, godly even, but he was definitely sick. His skin was a beautiful shade of white, but it was sickly when you really looked, it was a pasty color, and almost a shiny looking green like he wanted to relieve his stomach of everything in it. Like mine. He had shadows of bruises under his eyes, starting to turn a pale purple. Like mine. You could tell his face would be more muscular, but now it was almost thinning, like the meat in his cheeks was slowly decaying.

But he was still gorgeous to me. He spoke first.

"Cancer?" he had a drawl to his voice. Like he was from the country. That reminded me of my Pappy Swan. I looked into his eyes again, his bruise lined eyes that were so enticing.

I nodded.

"Hi, I'm Bella." I spoke in a hushed whisper when Emmett decided to exhale and give the room a millisecond of silence. My voice was dry and broke in a few spots as I silently spoke across the room. I grabbed the water on the table next to me and took a few sips of the gross stale drink. It hurt so much when I swallowed.

"Jasper." I nodded again. Definitely from the country and from the deepness of his drawl he was definitely raised there, it wasn't just an accent he developed. Not Georgia, not Mississippi, and not Tennessee so it must be Texas.

" Cancer?" I asked. He nodded, his pillow softly crinkling through the loud echo of Emmett's chainsaw impression.

"What type?" I questioned further.

"Don' know. Walked out before they could run anymore scans and see what type it was. But I'm guessin' lung, because they got it from x-rays. You?"

"Same." I replied.

I laid my head back on the pillow and laughed quietly- it rattled in my chest as I did- as Emmett let loose another snore.

"Your friend has got some set of lungs there." He said not disturbing the silence.

I laughed and looked at him fondly. "Ya, I don't know how his wife stands it." I stared at the ceiling. Why am I here?

What exactly happened?

_Emily call nine one one!_

I heard the echoing of a little girls screams. Emily. What happened.

"_H__ey honey! What do you want to do today? Maybe get some... ice cream? And maybe... some ____movies!"__ Emily laughed as I wiggled her around I opened the backseat and set her bag in the back and her in the small middle seat. _

I picked Emily up and we went to my house. Then we ate, and watched T.V. I got a call from Ang.. they were going to stay a bit later? Yes, someone took their table I think.

And.. I stopped, my head pounded. I rolled onto my side my back facing the gods bed. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to stop the pain in my head. F-to-the-U-to-the-C-to-the-K. Damn.

"You ok?" he whispered, his voice soft and caring.

I huffed, "Ya I'm ok." I exhaled.

Emmett stirred.

"Do you know how much he has slept? Knowing him this is probably the first in a day or two." I asked as the pain subsided, I think I'm going to leave that memory alone for a while.

"No sorry just woke a few hours ago." I nodded.

"Bells, Bella!"Emmett shouted as he woke and saw me looking at him.

"Isabella Fucking Marie Swan you will never ever _ever _fucking scare me or anyone like that ever again!" he shouted at me as he wrapped my frail form into his large arms. I laughed and sniffeled as a crystal fell from my eye and onto his arm.

"Ok." I said in a snuffly voice. His bass tone was so good to hear. I cleared my throat before I spoke.

"Emmett, this is Jasper. Jasper, this is my best friend Emmett." he just nodded at Emmett, and Emmett the same.

"Em, where is everyone? What happened, I don't really remember everything."

He shooed me over to the side of the bed and squeezed in with me "move your ass, you have no idea how hard it is for a guy like me to sleep in a couch like that." he motioned to the small hospital chair with his chin as he made himself comfortable. I giggled a bit as he let me curl into his large side, me using his arm as a pillow.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer as he smelled my hair and I smelled his shirt. " well," he started. "its is now six in the morning. So everyone should be arriving soon. Including Ang, Ben and Em. And to answer your second question, Emily called the police after you shouted at her to and she told them how you were sleeping and wouldn't wake up, and how you were bleeding from your mouth."

My eyes widened as I looked at him. He continued.

" She was so scared she actually hung up on the operator, and called Ang and Ben while they were at dinner and screamed into the phone until they left and were speeding to your place. By the time they got there the Police and Ambulance were already there and they were trying to calm a hysteric Emily."

He laughed for a sec. "Ben had to calm her down by singing that song you got her hooked on. The Paramedics just about thought he was insane. They carted you off and they followed behind you. Bella, I want to tell you, but the doctors only released the information to your parents, so you need to ask them or your doctor about why you passed out. Emily wont leave your side I am expecting lots of tears and shouting and I'm sorry but your parents are here too." he spoke the last part very quickly.

I froze.

"Bella... you know you were going to have to tell them eventually."

" I just didn't think that day would be today." I sighed.

"Wait, so let me get this right. Your dying. And you didn't tell your own parents? Are you fucking stupid?"

I gasped as I looked at the man laying in the hospital bed across from me.

"You don't know my parents." I hissed at him.

"You call her stupid one more time and see what you will look like when I am done with you." Emmett hopped off the bed and closed the curtain between us like it would help any.

"Hey, Em, thanks, but could you untangle me?" I lifted the wires.

He slowly helped them off me and soon I was comfortable without the tubes everywhere.

"Thanks. Do you know if they are going to be here today?" he nodded at me and I groaned ignoring the scoff I could hear on the other side of the room.

"Let the drama begin." I muttered under my breath as Emmett settled next to me and took some of my blankets. But I didn't mind, Emmett was warm enough on his own.

**-o0o-**

" I don't give a fuck if it isn't time for visitors I want to see her now!" I startled from my nap.

"Ms, I'm sorry but you can't enter a patients room until the visiting hours, or unless you are family. If you don't calm down I will call security and have them escort you out."

"But my husband is in there, why cant I be?" she whined.

"Ms. I wont say this again, wait here for another hour then you can go in and visit. Till then you will need to be patient like every other person in this hospital." my world went dark as I turned over and pulled the scratchy blanket over my head and snuggled into my warm hard pillow.

It felt like I had only been asleep for a few seconds since the disturbance, and suddenly I was being shaken awake by a muttering person. I blinked and opened my eyes to a cold stale dark room with a small amount of muted sunlight filtering from the curtain rolled my eyes and looked for the source of the shaking only to meet the eyes of Rosalie Lilian Hale.

"Shit." I whispered.

"Shit is right you bitch, don't you ever do that to us ever again! Do you realize how much of a panic you put us all in, how afraid we were that we would have to start planning your funeral? How Emily feels this is all her fault and her parents feel its theirs? I would beat you if it wouldn't kill you!" she finished her screaming. I heard the soft snoring on the other side of the room startle and stop completely.

Damn.

" I'm sorry, but can I please just have a hug?" I asked holding my arms out.

"You are so lucky I love you." she said placing herself into my open arms. " I can feel your ribs, I've never been able to feel them before." she muttered in my ear and I nodded.

" Your parents will be here in a couple hours and the bitch of a nurse I was arguing with earlier will be here to check up on you in a while." I nodded.

"Where is everyone else, and Em?" I questioned looking round the room.

"well, almost everyone is in the cafe and the others are on their way down. Don't worry, I've also been having Ang calling in Subs for you and the entire faculty is planning on sending cards to you. Also, your doctor is a dick. You know how he said you could do chemo or radiation?"

I nodded.

"well, you assumed it was out of your own pocket, he didn't fucking tell you your insurance would cover most if not all of it." my eyes widened. News to me.

"So I wont have to worry about my money? Ill be able to pay my bills?" I questioned. She nodded.

Well fuck.

"Great."

"Well, I am going to send Ang and Ben up after they finished feeding Em and hopefully we can get everyone in before your parents arrive. Edward is just about to die with his despair" she said dramatically, " and James is just plain worried. Get this, they both haven't thought of putting a hair product of any kind in their hair. I have to say if they weren't gay, I might have gone for Edward."

I laughed. "But wait, Rose, does this mean I can do chemo and radiation?"

She nodded smiling, "Does this mean you want to?"

"Now that I don't have to worry about it much anymore yeah definitely."

"Thank you." she gave me another hug

I smiled into the hug, I could have a bit more time now. When she pulled away, I looked at the door, and turned to Rose. "Do you know when Ang and Ben are getting here with Emily? And my parents?"

"Emily, Ben and Ang are on their way right now, they had to get Emily some food first, and your parents are on their way right now. Were coming in groups, until your parents leave then well all spill in, we know how they are. Well all except Emmett, him and Charlie, I swear I almost think he's questioning his sexuality around him. I don't understand men."i laughed outright.

"It's called a bromance, and thank you for keeping some peace until there gone, I don't know what I can handle right now, and after they leave I am going to need all of the chaos you all bring." I laughed, but it broke off into an awful painful cough.

"Yeah, well babe, I'm gong to head out so Ang Ben and Em can have there turn. Bye, love you." I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and she walked out while Ang and Ben walked in carrying a squirming ball of brown hair.

"Hey Emmy Bean! Get up here and hug aunty Bella!" I threw my arms open and she ran up to me and squeezed me so tight when she let go I had to take a second to blink back the tears. Not from pain- well, maybe a little bit- but from the emotional stress of it all.

I looked at the parents of this crazy thing " I am so sorry. I-" Angela cut me off.

"Are you seriously apologizing right now? There is no way you could have known this could have happened. Not at all, so seriously, shut up. Save it for someone that cares, and give me a hug." I smiled and gave that woman a hug, and Ben one too. Emily sat there watching tugging on my gown from time to time as I exchanged pleasantries, so I quickly turned and captured her and pulled her to my lap.

"Yes, Nugget?"

"Are you going to be ok Auntie?" I smiled.

"Course I am Nugget. But your going to have to remember, in a while I am going to have to leave, and I wont come back. Ok? But ill see you all the time, I'll always be there."

she nodded and nuzzled her forehead into my chest and played with the ends of my hair.

"Ok. Why did you fall and bleed Auntie?" she asked. Ang and Ben were silent as I explained.

" I'm sick, Emily. And I got really dizzy, and fell and bit the inside of my mouth really hard. The doctors here are going to help though, they will make me better for a while longer before I have to go. Ok?"

"Ok. Why do you have to leave?"

"I have to leave because someone very important needs me. And if someone needs something you should always try to help, isn't that right?"

she nodded and hugged me as she sat in my lap. I took her sandals off and gave them to Ang and she put them in her purse.

"So how was your date night? Other than me ruining it, and what about the other thing.." I smiled at Ang's face lighting up.

" Were going to have a baby Bella. And the date night was actually kind of stupid, the food sucked and was overpriced, the people were mean were almost glad you saved us from that."

I squealed "Oh my god, you must be so happy. And I think I could have rescued you in a better way." I chuckled and Ang nodded laughing.

There was a knock on the door, and Ang looked and immediately grabbed Emily and left with Ben behind her, waving as they left. I looked at who was at the door, and sighed heavily.

"Isabella Marie Swan." my mother said.

I looked over at the god next to me, noticing the curtain now open. Introducing, Renee and Charlie Swan. Enjoy the show. His eyebrow raised as he saw me looking at him and I raised mine back, turning my attention back to my mother.

"Hello, mom."


End file.
